Adaptability: Learning to Trust

Caution: Children at Play by Stephanie C. Weaver

I feel the changes coming and I bend with them. I know that I must adapt. I mold myself to all the cracks and crevasses of possibility. I know that if I just keep going forward, feeling the vibrations of direction, I will be safe and okay. I know this road too well. I have traveled it before. “Put it away for another day”, is the theme of my life. But I have also learned to only hang on to what really matters. Everything can be replaced, but with a precious few items do I hang onto and keep. Even my own art I let go of when the time comes. Perhaps being able to burn your own art, or destroy your own art in some way, is the key to being able as an artist to let go of the control. Yes, each piece is an expression, an experiment, but not every piece needs to be kept long term.

Painting Challenge Collage by Stephanie C. Weaver

I have been working on a personal challenge of painting a new painting every day. If not every day, then over the course of a couple days. Inserting this piece of activity and play into my day gives such great joy. As I choose colors to throw on the page before squeegeeing them to blend as they would, I am in a moment of mystery and wonder. It only takes a moment, but I am in a place of tranquil calm where I am one with the Universe’s plan for me. Having achieved a sense of satisfaction in this exchange, I can let that background dry while tending to my daily needs.

When I come back to work on the background created, the real fun begins. Pulling out other paint colors, I play and listen to the paint brush moving the paints as it tells me. The magic of the paint and brush already knowing where they want to be sent brings comfort. If they know where they are best suited, perhaps I do too. Maybe I can trust this transformation that has been waiting for me. The ease of the painting’s formation is simply astounding; love and trust encapsulate all my being and I am renewed for this day. I love watching as the painting unfolds before me, like a new gift I never knew could exist, but does.

Beach at Sunset by Stephanie C. Weaver

Today I added a sun and began playing with lighting in the shading. It is all coming to life and my paintings are coming out better. Not just better though. They have a spirt in them that is full of joy and wonder. No anger or upset and demand. Pure joy and allowance. This is the real story of a painting. Was it formed in love and wonder? Or was is told what it had to be?

Perception I suppose is what it comes down to. But I think that it is also a matter of learning to listen. Learning to listen to the Universe. Learning to listen to yourself. And learning to listen to the feelings that are coming. Once you have mastered listening, you then get to learn to trust yourself, your feelings and what the Universe is opening up for you to have and hold. It all may seem too altruistic. I preach about perspective and altruistic opportunity but I have been down at that bottom. I have been there before. But I have learned that once at bottom, the only way is up. 

Happy Bob Ross Trees by Stephanie C. Weaver

Adding a few ‘Bob Ross’ happy trees, I can stand back and admire my painting and the accomplishment of meeting my person goal. This small achievement is really a form of rebellion. Though I am looking change and thus danger in the face, I will not be swayed from my ultimate goal and mission. Yes, I face the loss of my home, but as I practice the art of listening and trusting my Inner Goddess, I begin to unfold a new life of real opportunity at self-love. My healing journey through art has not been disrupted. I have learned what hills to fight and die on, and I will no longer undermine my own Creative Healing so others can feel comfortable in their blocked places. I am always happy to help, but never willing to compromise my own progress forward. I am listening and being lead; now in a place where I have learned to trust.  

Self Portrait by Stephanie C. Weaver