Artistic Boundaries

Art Therapy Drawing of my Healthy Boundaries

The looming moving date approaches steadily as the transition to van life continues. Now combine this with the disharmonious send-off by my adoptive family has chosen, I must accept that I am feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. Art and writing have taken a back burner as my critical adult self takes the reigns in vain attempts to gain control. Flushed with emotions of anger, rejection, confusion and simply feeling hurt. All the time I have spent in the studio seems like one big continued virtuous act. Projects that want to be worked on are put aside for the quick and easy art projects that only band aid the expression that wants to be. As I purge myself of the clutter of years of people’s perception of what I should be I try to grapple with who the authentic me is and cares about. In a whirlwind of constant chaos and movement I settle myself for a single moment, knowing that hydration and breathing are emergency necessities. Stealing a moment to sit, I stop and think. I allow myself to finally reflect. What they hell do I care about anyway?

Desperate and knowing that art is therapeutic in general, I scroll through to see what art therapy groups, sessions or activities might be offered to me for free. With little success from local libraries or Eventbrite in the immediate future I turned to the trusty YouTube. Typing in Art Therapy Videos, Erica Pang Step by Step Art Therapy Activities Playlist and her channel dedicated to Art Therapy popped up.

Clicking on the first video offered I was immediately drawn into an Art Therapy session with Erica about Setting Boundaries. I immediately felt myself soften as she opened up about her own struggles with burnout and creating healthy boundaries. I knew I had found something that might help settle all the noise in my head. After a quick introduction about rigid and fluid boundaries, Erica offered to join her in an art activity. Drawing myself in the center I would use my favorite drawing tools to create an image of my healthy boundaries. With my acrylic markers in hand and a little starting inspiration from Erica I began.

Starting with a rough drawn concept of myself in the center of the page I took her advice that healthy boundaries start with being grounded. I drew some roots under my feet and then I went into my whimsical mind and explored with doodles and created freely. As I added colors and symbols, questions started forming in my mind. I listened and took note.

Initially, I felt like I was drawing myself too secluded. I was off in a meadow of tall grass, in the middle of a forest, dancing and singing around a huge fire. I was by myself, away from everyone, and I felt like there were no paths for others to be allowed in. I questioned if maybe I have too rigid of boundaries. Perhaps I don’t allow people access to me as a way to guard myself for further hurt?

With more strokes of colors added to give more dimension to the simply drawn trees and overgrown grass I started adding things and items to myself. The red roots in the ground represented my connection to my ancestor’s bloodline and the veneration I hold for them. My heart shines out with pure love wrapped in layers of pink, green and coral. In my hands I drew myself holding the golden key to life in my left hand of reception, and giving out from my right hand, my artistic works. Having focused many years now on healing my trauma around religion, I drew the eye of Ra on my face to symbolize how I have regained much of my power through knowledge. This all culminates into the air of my song flowing in sky blue representing the pure expression of my love and knowledge musically. Still more color was added to the trees and grass, and in so doing paths between the trees emerged. It became clearer to me what I was really expressing.

My boundaries have been too fluid. I allow myself to be too available to those who I care for. I want them to feel like they can rely on me, and in so doing I forget who and what I stand for. I forget that I am a priestess walking on this realm as an artist. I forget that I have the power to say, “No! Not right now!” It also is a reminder that I need to do more to guard myself. That my inner creative wants to express herself, but only in the safety of her inner sanctum. Looking closely there are in fact many paths into my inner circle, but there will be a trek past a forest, through tall grass and into a space that might seem unfamiliar. Upon reflection once given a moment to sit with my drawing, I do know what healthy boundaries for me look like.

Only one video session done with Erica and my heart already feels a little better. Taking the time to get back to myself and recognize what I am needing from myself has brought a great deal of comfort to my overall being, and I feel a bit better. I may still be overwhelmed with everything that still needs to be done in my adult life, but the moment to pause and reflect through art is truly helping. I intend to continue working through  Erica Pang Step by Step Art Therapy Activities Playlist as the next weeks unfold. I am particularly excited for the Summer Solstice and Full Moon Video as an artistic addition to my developing magical practice. With over 60 videos in her playlist, I have several months of Art Therapy Videos to explore my emotions as I transition into my new life.

*Statement made in this article are for entertainment purposes only and are not intended to serve as alternative to professional help. Thank you for reading.